Here’s one story.

Did the dress cost too much?

I’m writing a biography for a client, Betty. Betty is 83 years of age. She’s shared a lot of memories in our interviews that I’m using to write her biography. One in particular comes to mind that she feels guilty about.

Betty is very tall and it’s hard to find clothes off the rack that fit her well. 3 years ago she was invited to a wedding and wanted a new dress. She couldn’t find anything in the stores that fit her. She decided to have a dress made for her by a local seamstress.
The dress was very expensive to make. It was so expensive that in the three years since she bought it, she’s never told anyone how much she spent, for fear of looking foolish. (She told me how much she spent, but I promised not to tell anyone). She didn’t want her family to get the impression that she was wasteful and extravagant.

Betty was born in 1928 and lived through the Great Depression and World War II. Her parents were hard-working, but never made a lot of money.  She has lived modestly all her life. She has a nice home, a nice car, and nice things, but she’s careful with her money. That’s why the dress caused her such concern.

It seems to me as though there are two perspectives that are worth considering. The first is the value of money versus the value of the products it purchases. That’s Betty’s feeling about weighing one purchase against another.

The other viewpoint, which I think is valid, is that of her children. They say, “You’ve got the money. Spend it on yourself. Enjoy it while you still can.” She struggles with that because she remembers the times when money was tight and she doesn’t want to end up poor again.

As we talked about the dress, we came to agree that the best position was somewhere in the middle. She should be cautious about her finances, but also enjoy the benefits without always doubting the decision.

As you interview your parents or grandparents, be sensitive to this internal conflict that seems to be normal for Betty’s generation.

The bottom line is that the story of the dress will appear in Betty’s Biography Journal, but nobody will ever know the cost.

Writing your own obituary may seem morbid. However, who knows more about you than you?

Most people associate an obituary with death. Smart people think of them as a place to celebrate a life.

Should you write your own obituary? Ever write one for someone else? Wouldn’t it be easier if they had given you some information?

Wouldn’t it be thoughtful of you to do that for your survivors?

Many obituaries are written by funeral home directors. These can include mistakes, oversights, incorrect dates, and may not reflect what you would want said.

Actually, what I tell my clients is to have your spouse write your obituary. You are probably too modest to list all the key accomplishments in your life, but your spouse will want to share those key items that people should know about.

Your obituary should be more than an advertisement for your local funeral home.

Some helpful ideas -

Think about what you want to include and who you may want to mention. Don’t leave out important influences in your life.

Be accurate and complete.  Be sure to spell names correctly. Double check the dates.

Help prevent identity theft by guarding critical information.

Keep the subject about your life and not just about death.

Select how many family members to include. Be careful not to leave out important ones.

Describe your character rather than just listing dry facts. Speak in examples and stories that will show the type of person you are.

Revise your obituary after letting it settle in for a while. There may be some things you want to add or delete.

Give people information on where you want your obituary published. Some places to consider -

* Newspaper
* Professional journals
* Web site
* Mailed to people
* Emailed to people
* Alumni magazines
* Local organization newsletters
* Church yearbook or history

Inspire others with your life. Think about generations you could influence as a respected ancestor. Record your obituary information in your Family Legacy Journal.

Don’t be modest. This is your last shot.

There are many more tips and ideas included in the book Tell Me Again, Grandma.

You’re never going to escape taxes, even when you die. Paying taxes is a sure bet. Even death doesn’t cancel the tax obligations you have.

It’s just that when you die, you merely shift the responsibility to someone else. And you may be making their life miserable.

If you become incapacitated, your caretaker will have to take care of your financial responsibilities.

And if you pass away, your executor will still have to file your returns, so you just can’t escape.

However, you can make life easier on your loved ones if you leave them some information in your Family Legacy Journal.

Some types of taxes that may be required -

* Federal income
* State income
* Federal estate
* State estate
* Business

It’s important to understand your financial responsibilities and options while you’re still around. There are ways to avoid paying any more than you have to.

The best advice is to talk with a qualified accountant or attorney to be sure you understand the best way to proceed.

Here are some ideas on tax preparation -

Identify the names of persons or firms you’ve worked with in the past on your taxes. Include accountants, attorneys, or others you believe are qualified. If you have no preference, then make a note of that.

List the contact information of the firm and the person you’ve worked with in the past. Provide a phone number, address, web site, and email address.

Identify anything that may help others to prepare your returns.

Describe the location of where you keep your tax records.

Be sure to update your contact information if you change professionals.

There are places for you to record all this information in your Family Legacy Journal.

For many more ideas and tips, use the book Tell Me Again, Grandma.

Some people say that there’s nothing new. It’s all been tried before. I’d challenge that statement by listing some of the technical advances such as computers, cell phones, and advanced medical equipment.

But, in the realm of human relations, it probably has all been tried before. However, that doesn’t mean that everyone has tried everything. As we mature, we may “discover” some actions that are very valuable.

I have a young client, Carrie, who’s married but doesn’t have children. She and her husband Chris have been together for about ten years. They love each other and communicate well. But recently they “discovered” something.

Carrie recently purchased the Digital Edition of My Biography Journal. Her intent was to use the questions and prompts to preserve the history of her parents.

After printing out a section of the Journal, she and Chris started talking about the questions. They playfully “interviewed” each other and were amazed at the results. Some of the questions were things they never thought to ask. And they were surprised at the answers.

They found out things about each other they had never known. Some of the new information was fun, some was serious, and some was “let’s not talk about that now”. The result was a feeling of closeness that didn’t happen with normal conversation. And they were fascinated by the lists of questions in the Biography Journal.

Carrie and Chris continue to use the questions in the Biography Journal (there are hundreds) to get closer. They’re building their relationship and level of communication as they listen, laugh, and grow together.

Is there anyone you’d like to get closer to? Find questions in My Biography Journal that can make you laugh, or cry, and perhaps fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Protect your top secret data by recognizing how much you have.

The world has become a place of “Top Secret” information for everyone. We rely on password protection in many different areas.

* Email accounts
* Web site accounts
* Online banking
* Cell phone
* Personal Digital Assistant
* Online stock portfolio
* House alarms
* Car alarms
* Business alarms
* Garage door

And then we also have the “Top Secret” physical things we lock up or use keys or combinations to access.

* House keys
* Garage keys
* Car keys
* Safe deposit box
* Filing cabinets
* Home safe
* Lawnmower
* Gun cabinet
* Business keys
* Post office box
* Self storage facility

In addition, there are “Top Secret” things that we don’t reveal to others.

* Does anyone know where you keep that stash of extra cash?
* Those gold coins you’re saving?
* The old savings bonds?
* Do you have things loaned out to people?
* Do you have a house key at the neighbor’s?
* A house key hidden outside?

We rarely think about these “Top Secret” passwords, keys, combinations, or hiding places. They become second nature to us because we use them all the time.

But, think about someone you know passing away and you have to find and access all their “Top Secret” information. Seems impossible doesn’t it? Well, your “Top Secret” information will also seem formidable for others to get past.

You could be your own worst enemy in preventing your loved ones from getting at things they need when you pass away or become incapacitated.

Small oversights in this area could have a major impact on your survivors. Be careful that you list all the appropriate data and double check it for accuracy.

Capture your critical information in your own Family Legacy Journal. Discover many more “Top Secret” tips and ideas in your own copy of Tell Me Again, Grandma.

A story from a client.

“My parents both passed away recently. I knew Dad’s health was declining, but mom seemed pretty good. Then she died too. The doctor said it was old age, but I think it was from a broken heart.

Then I was heartbroken. I always said I wanted to take the time and write about their lives. But I told myself I was too busy and I’d get to it later. More than ever I wanted to share their lives and experiences with my young grandchildren, but now it seemed too late.

Then I had an idea. Each of my parents was the oldest in their families. They both had younger brothers and sisters. Dad had 4 siblings and Mom had 3. I’d ask them.

I called my Aunt Susie first. I asked her if she’d be willing to talk about my Mom. She said, “I’d be delighted.” We sat down on a Sunday afternoon, but Aunt Susie wasn’t sure where to start. I told her that I’d take care of asking questions.

I used my copy of My Biography Journal Workbook and started at the beginning, like I would for my Mom. Aunt Susie’s eyes lit up as she started talking about her older sister.

Aunt Susie had been talking for about an hour and I stopped her. My heart was touched with her willingness to help me, with no reward for her. I asked, “Would you mind if I also wrote a biography about you?” Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude.

I’ve spent many sessions with my aunts and uncles and have lots of stories and experiences of my parents. This legacy information, plus my relationship, allows me to reconstruct an accurate family history of my Mom and Dad.

When my cousins heard I was writing biographies for their parents, they eagerly chose to get their own Biography Journal Workbooks and talk with their parents.

I’m satisfied now that my grandchildren will have a well-rounded picture of the lives of my parents. I’m so glad their character will live, even though they’re gone. And my entire family has been blessed in so many ways.”

To find out how to preserve your parent’s legacy, use My Biography Journal.

There are two key questions.

* Who will be responsible for raising your children?
* And who will be responsible for their property?

Deciding on a Personal Guardian

If both parents die or a single parent passes away, then a personal guardian must be appointed by a court.

One of the requirements of being a guardian is to be an adult. You can’t leave your younger offspring to an older sibling unless they are an adult.

You may have the case where a blended family has different sets of relatives. It could be the best thing for each child to go with the best adult for each.

When you select the guardian for your children, be sure they are aligned with your standards for raising them. Talk with them and be sure they are willing to accept the responsibility.

Deciding On a Property Guardian

A Property Guardian could be a different person than a Personal Guardian.

Children, by law, are not allowed to own property. So,  somebody needs to be in charge of the property on behalf of the child.

You have to decide who you want to manage your children’s property. In most instances, the personal guardian is also named as property guardian. This works out if the person is a good money manager.

There may be instances where the person you leave your children with is not the one who manages the money. Perhaps they are a loving person who would care for your children, but  they don’t know how to handle money.

If you select a different person to be the property guardian for your children, be sure that they and the personal guardian can work well together.

If there are questions you have about personal or property guardians, now may be a good time to consult your attorney.

For many more tips and ideas, use the book Tell Me Again, Grandma.

A portable vault is what one client called their Family Legacy Journal binder.

This client wanted to keep copies of all their important family documents in one location.

She said, “If I have to run out of the house with just one item, I want it to contain all the hard-to-replace documents and information that my family needs.”

I asked her what she kept in her Journal and she listed the following -

Birth certificate copies
Marriage certificate copy
Insurance policy numbers
Passports
Will
Medical directives
Power of attorney
Vehicle registrations
Brokerage statements
Bank account numbers
CD numbers
Passwords and lock combinations
Duplicates of keys
Medical history for family members
Contact information for professionals such as doctors
Contact information for family members
DVD with pictures of household items for insurance reimbursement

She also said, “It was really easy because there are already complete lists of everything we need in my Family Legacy Journal so we didn’t overlook anything.”

She felt as though there would be enough chaos in a disaster or emergency situation and she wanted one less thing to worry about.

She and her husband prepared the Journal together so they were both familiar with everything, in case one wasn’t available.

She found an unexpected additional benefit. Preparing the Family Legacy Journal together made it easier for both of them to talk about disaster preparation. The problem didn’t seem so big once they began the conversation and started putting things in their Journal.

And as it was completed, there was a sense of relief and added level of protection for their family.

And she’s also preparing a Family Legacy Journal for her parents.

Keep your important documents and information in your own Family Legacy Journal. Discover many more tips and ideas in your own copy of Tell Me Again, Grandma.

Bart and his wife had 10 of his top clients and their spouses over for a Friday evening party. Part way into the evening Bart noticed that about half of the people were missing from the kitchen and family room where the party was being held.

Bart wandered into the living room and found the others. They were sitting round the living room and were talking about a book one of his clients was reading. Then Bart realized it was his copy of My Biography Journal. He had left is on the coffee table and people were drawn to the colorful cover.

His guests were absorbed in the things that Bart had written. They asked him about his family and some of his childhood memories. They laughed over some of his funny stories and youthful escapades. Bart left the group and they continued to talk among themselves using questions from the book.

When he got back to the kitchen, it hit him. He knew what he’d get his key clients for Christmas. He’d get each client and their spouse copies of My Biography Journal. He said, “It was the perfect gift that focused on them, was personal (but not too personal), and was one-of-a-kind.”

The rest of the conversation, throughout the evening, centered on family stories and memories. The party was deemed a huge success.

Need a unique gift for your clients or relatives? Consider My Biography Journal for holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries.

The perfect client gift.

Many people hide the information in their brokerage account from their children and spouse. They don’t like people to know how much money they have. (Or how much they’ve lost.)

The problem with hiding your account information is that when you pass away or become incapacitated, people don’t know how to find it or access it.

And a worse problem is – if you don’t set it up to avoid probate, your loved ones can’t touch it until your estate is settled. That could take years. Meanwhile, the stocks in your account could crash and nobody could do anything about it.

There’s a simple way to prevent your account from going through probate. Set up a transfer-on-death so your loved ones inherit your account without going to court. Your broker can set this up for you.

The other essential thing you need to do is list your account information in your Family Legacy Journal. That way, should you pass away or become incapacitated, people know exactly where to find the information, how to access your account, and hoe to contact your broker.

You don’t have to list any of your confidential financial information. But you do want to list how to get the money so your family won’t lose any.

The information you must document is:

• Financial institution
• Contact information
• Account number
• Asset description
• Transfer-On-Death beneficiary
• Online access and debit card info
• Location of documents, checks, etc.

Update your Family Legacy Journal whenever you:

• Open a new account
• Close an account
• Move to a new location
• Change storage location for your checks or documents
• Change the way you trade online

So, what’s the status of your brokerage account?

We help you protect the ones you love.